Christian Life

He is ALWAYS.

Why do good people always have to suffer? And the bad guys are laying on the bed of prosperity? Didn’t the good ones deserve a good life? But why did they always have to be the one who’s crying?

When my sister was diagnosed of a stage four Rectal Cancer, my whole world crashed. I can’t concentrate on my review. I can’t think straight. There were mornings that I would just realized that I have fallen asleep last night crying. I bargained almost everything, telling Him that I would do everything for her to be okay. That it will be fine with me if I won’t get pass on board exam if it would cost my sister’s recovery.

I cannot understand why a 19- year old girl have to fight a battle like this. She’s a caring  sister, a responsible daughter, a faithful friend and a hardworking student. In fact, she’s on her fourth year in uni this coming school year.

As for her.. her dreams were set. We have great plans together. We want to help our family the moment we finished school and find a good job. And most of all, we both have a burning desire to serve Him. In church, as a head of Children Ministry, she have spent some of her time searching and thinking of a good activity that would draw the children closer to God.. And yet..

Sometimes I would just look at someone who’s the same age as her, and I would tell myself, why does my sister have to suffer like that? Why can’t she be a normal teenager like them?

I refrain myself from questioning Him. There are times that I just wanted to throw all the blame on Him and ask, “Why do these things happen to us? Why did He let my sister to be sick?”

But no. Who am I to ask? And no, He don’t deserve the blame, and I think He never did and He never will.

My best cousin once told me, “Ang ulan, bumubuhos sa lahat. Walang pinipili. Maganda man ang dulot ng ulan o trahedya. Lahat nababasa.”

That hit me.

God never sent me trials because I am bad and God never gave me blessings because I am good. It does not matter whether you did something good or not. Or whether you always go to church, not even when you help others or not. It is not the basis. And it never have been. Either way, He is letting those things happen because He loves me.

He loves me and He want me to be a living testimony of His greatness. He wants me to know and feel His presence. That He is the only One who would give me strenght.. that He is always beside me, and He will never leave nor forsake me.

He is working  miracles through me.. through my sister..

Through us..

Sometimes, we tend to doubt His promises, we doubt His will, His power. We doubt Him. But amidst all the doubts, He always make a way knock the doors of our hearts. He would always make a way for us to know that these are not battles to be conquered by ourselves alone. God is with us. Forever.

Christian Life

My Faith Did

And so I take the qualifying examination..

My previous blog post will tell you how devastated I am and torn at the same time between giving up and pursuing my dreams and become a CPA. I tell you how crucial it is to pass the said examination that the idea of not taking it bothers me. I am afraid that I would not be able to make it.

The examination went on last February 8 and 15..

Whenever the questionnaires fell on my hands, I’ll write my name, take a glance over the first page, close my eyes then I’ll pray.

I asked for His guidance and wisdom. I asked Him to remind me all the lessons that I have learned and blessed me. I told Him that I would not be able to answer those if I’ll just rely on my own efforts. I told Him that if it’s really for me, so be it. That if it is His will, so be it.

I even told my friends that it will only be miracle if I will be able pass it, because I wasn’t really prepared. The first week, I only read Business Law and Practical Accounting 1. And on the 2nd week, ¼ of MAS is what I have only reviewed. I swear to God, my chances of passing were just like a mustard seed.

And then February 17 happened..

I remember how my best friend Regine got nervous. How she sigh heavily every minute that day. How I told her to stay calm coz I am very sure that she made it. And how I was just so cool, laughing and throwing jokes with my friends that day. I wasn’t really expecting anything. But at least I am praying..

“Pumasa tayo, Gine?! Pumasa tayo!!!”, I told her when I confirmed that I was really in. I was literally jumping and rejoicing that I can’t help but cry. Tears of joy. Out of 84 examinees, I made it to be on the Top 30. I hug her and still hug her tight. I just can’t really believe that I made it. God made it for me!

Result of the Qualifying Examination for 5th year BS Accountancy, 2014. See my name on #20! :)
See my name on #20! 🙂

I am so much overwhelmed how God loves me this much. That even how sinful I am. Even though I neglected Him at times. I haven’t been to church for two consecutive Sabbaths. I haven’t been praying constantly for like forever. He loves me still that even though how I didn’t deserve His love, His blessings.. Still He gave me those unconditionally. No words could express how thankful I am to Him for giving me this! I just realized how powerful prayer is.

Sometimes, you just have to have faith. Err, no. You have to HAVE faith. Faith in God. Faith in His power. Faith in His blessings. Faith in His grace. Faith in His love..

 

I tell you my friends, I didn’t really passed the exam..

 

 

 

 

My faith did..