Letters To No One

Before I Die

We never know when we will die. I mean, no one knows. Really. But the truth is, there are many things in this world that I wanted to do, I wanted to have and I wanted to become before I die. And I want you to know some of them..

13. Learn how to ride a bike; I envy my friends for they really good on it. I pity myself for having such a boring childhood back then. Haha. I remember when I was little, I told my mom that if I got an honor on school, she have to buy me a bike so that I could learn how to ride on it. Gratefully, I got an honor, but unfortunately, I haven’t got my bike. Until now, at this very moment that I am writing this, I still want to have my own bike.

12. Learn how to swim; I once told myself that if I would learn how to swim, I will survive. Yes, I consider this as a necessity. My imaginations has been haunting me that what if, I’m on a ship, and suddenly it sank, what will happen to me if I didn’t know how to swim? And what if, a tragedy happens, a Tsunami.. How am I going to survive if I wasn’t capable of holding my breath under the sea? So, whenever there are chances that I know I would be able to learn how to swim, I am taking it. Once and for all, I want to survive from whatever that might happen in the future.

11. Go hiking with my friends and church mates; I bond most of my time with my friends and church mates, but sad to say that hiking wasn’t included in all those times. I have slept with them. Camp with them. Travel with them. Swim with them. Watch movie with them. Sing with them. Eat with them. Laugh with them. Cry with them. Know Jesus with them. Almost everything! And there’s one thing I wanted the most right now—I want to go hiking with them!

10. Learn how to play guitar, piano, violin and drums; I admire people who know how to play all these things. I mean, it’s not necessary all in one person. And I wanted to be someone that I admire the most. Well, I know how to play guitar but wasn’t enough for me to consider it great. I know one piece playing piano. And let me tell you this, I have a long-time crush ever who was a genius in playing violin. And it was the cutest side of him that I adore. Haha. And, lastly, I think playing drums would be cool! Haha.

9. Be a member of an all-girls band!; Oha! Obviously, I am so much in love with music. I love singing. Enough that I can see myself singing in front of many people with my own band. I could be the vocalist, the guitarist or the drummer! Yea. I’m excited thinking about it. Haha. Awesome, right?

8. Travel around the world; I want to explore. I want to go in different places such as London, for I want to be in the same place where Zayn, Liam, Louis and Harry began. I love Niall big-time that’s why I want to go to Ireland as well! Pennsylvania and Nashville, where Taylor Swift used to live in many years of her life. I want to go to China and visit the Great Wall. Take a picture with myself in Eiffel Tower in Paris. Israel, where God’s chosen people lived thousands of years ago. Korea, Australia, Japan, Singapore, Thailand, Italy and so many others. But most likely, before anywhere else in this world, I want to enjoy first the beauty of my mother land—Philippines!

7. Meet the best five lads in the world—One Direction!; You can tell it with yourself that I am a Directioner! I love them until now for more than a year. Their songs, their voices, their looks, their personalities, their brotherly love with each other, everything about them are adorable! I love each one of them differently. I mean, if you ask me whom I love the most among them, I won’t give you an answer for I love them all. I love them individually. You might call it odd, but I really do include them in my prayers. I guess, meeting them in person would be one of the amazing things that could ever in my life.

6. Meet the drop-dead gorgeous lady—Taylor Swift!; Just like with One Direction, my love for Tay is unexplainable. But I can say that I am a Swiftie more than a Directioner. A fact can prove it that whenever there’s a fan-voted awards that both of them were nominated, I would choose to vote for Tay. Haha. I love her for being so real. For somehow her songs speak for what I’m feeling. She knew the words. Really. That’s why whenever people are mocking her, calling her names, I can’t help but get hurt also. Whenever some Directioners send hates to her, I am one of the first person that gets affected. (and vice versa). I feel that she’s a friend. Though, we’re miles away, it doesn’t change the fact that I love her. That’s the very reason why I want to meet her, hug her, watch her concert live and have a picture with her. Haha

5. Get a house and earn a living for my parents; I think the main reason why most of us went to school, study well, and work so hard is to become ‘someone’ in their family. Most of us wanted to have something to give with our parents someday. Since I was a child, we’re always like moving to one place to another. Renting a small house that would be enough with a family with eight children. And I guess, I have told it to myself a hundred times that when I grow up, I will buy them a house so that there’s no need for us to rent.

4. Become a Certified Public Accountant; Every Accounting students dreamt of being a CPA. This would be the peak of our success. I can’t wait for the day that I will see my name in a list of the CPA board passers. I love accounting. It’s just that, sometimes I am very much encourage to study but most of the times, negative thoughts been chasing me. The fear that I wouldn’t be able to make it. Well, who knows what might happen in the future?

3. Find my true love, get married and have my own family; I am 19 years old. No boyfriend since birth. What on earth am I thinking of these things, when I don’t even have a boyfriend? I hardly believe that there’s really someone who were born for me. I mean, it sounds cheesy, but I am a great believer of a-relationship-in-God’s-appointed-time. I do have a crush.. well, you might call it close to “love”, but I know, God has a better plan for me more than I had for myself. That even if that certain person won’t love me the same way I did to him, I won’t mind, for I know, my story is not for me to predict, not for me command. My fate is not in my hand. My love story is not written by me, it is written by God. Someday, I will bump into someone I know or someone I didn’t, look into each other’s eyes, and then boom! The next thing I would know is we’re getting married. Haha. Exactly, God really does in mysterious way.

2. Drew my loved-ones unto Jesus’ feet; The probability that you have read my previous blogs, you would know how desperate I am to have my family worship God altogether in Sabbath. My parents are Catholic. One of my greatest dreams in life is to be an instrument of Christ for them to be closer to Him. I want to witness a miracle through them. Every night, I always include them in my prayers. I will constantly do it until the word “prayer” doesn’t exist anymore.

1. Lastly, I want to have a heart that only seeks Jesus; I have been unfocused. I have been distracted. I have been blinded by the worldly pleasure. I am a sinner. I’ve always wanted that kind of conviction in my heart where the only thing that I would be longing to do is to seek Jesus. God loves me so much that He would do everything to me. That He would give His only Son for my salvation. And I want to have that kind of love in my heart.

Death is not really what I am feared of. I am more afraid of not doing things that I should have done before I die. With no regrets at all.

And if you have patiently read all of these, thanks to you. And maybe, I think, you could help me in accomplishing all of them.